I have pretty much gone out of my mind.

Even more so than usual and through a series of events I am now incapable of keeping secrets and telling lies as that is something I have promised to myself and a few others. (Tonya being one of them.)

Therefore I will now divulge every secret I have kept over my 18 years of life.

Of course I won't be just blabbering them to everyone that would just be gossiping, not confessing.

I will only divulge my secrets upon request, You may ask any specific times in my life, years, days, or any special ones that may be related to certain persons in particular, just any time or place actually.

I doubt any of you would really want to hear all of it, but there is one secret which I am very ashamed of, one which Tonya desperately doesn't want me to reveal, and because I had loved her so much I kept it.

She has however not been kind even in general, and not until recently have I questioned why I should keep secrets for anyone at all.

That added on to me realizing that I will never be with her ever again made me come to the conclusion that the secret isn't even worth keeping for someone incapable of loving me back, and that my love for was quickly fading.

Of course my repercussions for letting the secret out won't be as great as hers if her parents find out, (If you find out the secret I urge you not to speak of it to them) but being that the secret I keep came from me being pressured into a situation that at the time she wanted to happen.

(I do not believe she meant to pressure me into it purposefully though, and if she could go back and change what she did she would most likely do it much differently.)

She desperately wishes for the secret to be known by nobody but me, and her, but that won't stop me from telling whomever asks me what it is.

Somehow in a weird loop of logic she still feels that she is a force in the decisions that I make, sadly she is mistaken as she lost that power when she broke up with me.

I know that all of her close friends will flock to this journal if they read it yelling at me saying I have no right to speak of her secrets, that I'm a total douchebag, and that I should keep the secret a secret, but this secret is directly related to me.

It is part of me and will always remain a part of me and what is mine is mine to share.

It is hers to share as well, and if I wanted her not to share it I wouldn't have any right to tell her she couldn't share it.

Like I said before though I'm not telling anyone straight out, I made it a point to not lie or keep secrets that I am a part of.

I will end with this one point, the secret has made me a corrupt individual in keeping it and being a part of it, it is a permanent scar unto my soul, and the only way to bypass such pains and make one whole again is to confess, (and in my case.) repent till my eyes bleed.

And as an added note: I have already confessed all of my secrets to four different religious groups, because those are the only people on the planet who you can actually tell your secrets, and most of the time not be judged.

Ps. Yes I am still quite sane. Just not as much as a natural human should be. Though if I realize that that could possibly mean I am more sane than I think I am or I am extremely insane and that my standards of sanity are low.